360. And then I blatantly stole an entry.

I was on Shakespeare Geek and just cannot help myself. This is too funny:

TOP 20 SHAKESPEAREAN FAUX PAS:

1. Inviting Lady Macbeth to a dinner party and constantly telling her where she can wash up.
2. Inviting Macbeth to a dinner party and constantly saying, “What a great Banquo!” instead of “What a great Banquet.”
3. Asking Henry V “Whatever happened to Richard II? We hardly ever see him around anymore!”
4. Telling Rosalind she looks just like a boy actor playing a girl pretending to be a boy acting like a girl.
5. Asking the two noble kinsmen which one is the noblest.
6. Casually mentioning to Mcduff that your wife and children weren’t butchered by a desperate megalomaniac.
7. Inviting Claudius to see Agatha Christie’s The Mousetrap with you.
8. Trying to compliment Hamlet by referring to him as “The Great Dane.” He hates that.
9. Shouting “No! It’s your imagination!” whenever Macbeth starts on that “Is this a dagger?” nonsense.
10. Answering all of Hamlet’s rhetorical questions in a sarcastic tone of voice (viz. “What’s Hecuba to him? He dated Hecuba in high school!”).
11. Standing in the way of Richard III’s ascent to the throne.
12. Offering Othello a handkerchief after he sneezes. It’s kind of like offering Lady Macbeth a moist towelette.
13. Singing the Beatles’ “I Want to Hold Your Hand” when Lavinia (from Titus Andronicus) is in the room.
14. Slipping a fake spider into the martini glass of Leontes (from The Winter’s Tale).
15. Referring to Gertrude as “Hamlet’s father’s brother’s wife.”
16. Requesting the pianist at a bar to play “We Don’t Need Another Hero” when Claudio is right there.
17. Showing up at a social occasion wearing the same cloth-of-gold of tissue dress as Cleopatra.
18. Serving Caesar a salad . . . over and over again . . . every single time he comes to your place.
19. Proposing marriage to Isabella—even though you know she’s almost finished taking her vows to be a nun.
20. Asking King Lear about his 401(k).

 

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