360. And then I blatantly stole an entry.
I was on Shakespeare Geek and just cannot help myself. This is too funny:
TOP 20 SHAKESPEAREAN FAUX PAS:
- Inviting Lady Macbeth to a dinner party and constantly telling her where she can wash up.
- Inviting Macbeth to a dinner party and constantly saying, “What a great Banquo!” instead of “What a great Banquet.”
- Asking Henry V “Whatever happened to Richard II? We hardly ever see him around anymore!”
- Telling Rosalind she looks just like a boy actor playing a girl pretending to be a boy acting like a girl.
- Asking the two noble kinsmen which one is the noblest.
- Casually mentioning to Mcduff that your wife and children weren’t butchered by a desperate megalomaniac.
- Inviting Claudius to see Agatha Christie’s The Mousetrap with you.
- Trying to compliment Hamlet by referring to him as “The Great Dane.” He hates that.
- Shouting “No! It’s your imagination!” whenever Macbeth starts on that “Is this a dagger?” nonsense.
- Answering all of Hamlet’s rhetorical questions in a sarcastic tone of voice (viz. “What’s Hecuba to him? He dated Hecuba in high school!”).
- Standing in the way of Richard III’s ascent to the throne.
- Offering Othello a handkerchief after he sneezes. It’s kind of like offering Lady Macbeth a moist towelette.
- Singing the Beatles’ “I Want to Hold Your Hand” when Lavinia (from Titus Andronicus) is in the room.
- Slipping a fake spider into the martini glass of Leontes (from The Winter’s Tale).
- Referring to Gertrude as “Hamlet’s father’s brother’s wife.”
- Requesting the pianist at a bar to play “We Don’t Need Another Hero” when Claudio is right there.
- Showing up at a social occasion wearing the same cloth-of-gold of tissue dress as Cleopatra.
- Serving Caesar a salad . . . over and over again . . . every single time he comes to your place.
- Proposing marriage to Isabella—even though you know she’s almost finished taking her vows to be a nun.
- Asking King Lear about his 401(k).